The Breakdown of a Soul

     ​As I got out of my house, I plastered a smile on my face. It’s much better to start your day with a smile. That way, you can influence other people to be also positive throughout the day. I had lunch with my friends. We talked about things, ourselves, made jokes and laugh at each other. It made a high degree in the aroma of enjoyment and happiness. 

     “It’s actually great to have people you can talk to.” I thought to myself.

     Later in the afternoon, I went to my grandparent’s house. They were glad for me to be there. We spent the time drinking coffee and played chess. My grandpa played way much better than me so apparently he won. He can never be defeated, although he had already aged.

     “Better luck next time! Hahaha!” He boasted. 

     Being exhausted by our game, we went to the terrace. There, we talked and they encourage me to live a better life. 

     When the clock reached 6pm. I decided to go home since I noticed I’m already worn out. 

     “Has your day been good?” Mom asked as she opened the door for me.

     “Of course mom, it has always been.” I replied.  

     I ate a toasted bread she made as I walk towards my room. My shoulders are currently hurting from the sling bag I hung throughout the day. 

     I changed into my pajamas and went straight to my mirror. From here I can see a lady so happy outside, but broken on the inside.  They say I’m a jolly and a happy-go-lucky person. I can’t even image swimming in the sea of bliss. However, whenever I see my reflection, it seems not true. They didn’t know I’m suffering from the pangs of self-hatred. My vital eyes earlier were now weary, the wide smile I plastered on my face was gone, and I feel weak. Tears started falling down from my eyes. I’m happy yet, why do I have this feeling that something is lacking? Is it because I’m trying so hard to be happy? Are they just showing pity? Why am I going through this? Did they even notice me? 
     Many questions are in my head that make me puzzled. All I know is that I am not in the state to think right. 

     Maybe I shouldn’t mind this. People think I’m probably overreacting and might end up being judged by them. I’ll just let the pain and melancholy take over my mind and soul.

     “Yes, maybe I should turn it this way.”

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6 thoughts on “The Breakdown of a Soul

    1. Pardon, for hearing that. Just keep the faith ’cause there are still people who are there for you no matter what! Don’t just listen to your thoughts so that you won’t be feeling down and instead surround yourself with positive people 😊♥

      Liked by 1 person

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